The Mad Hatter
by Syberian
Summary: "Athena dropped the hat and jumped slightly at the sound of a voice directly behind her. Grasping the blade of Xiphos, she spun around only to see a large, lanky figure looming over her and Pseudo-Jack. He gracefully caught the falling hat and placed it on top of his head and looked at the two of them with his dark green eyes." OC involved.


"And then what happened?" yelled a voice that echoed through the now quiet streets of Sanctuary.

"That's it. Wilhelm, Nisha, and Timothy joined Jack. I didn't know what happened to Claptrap until today when I saw him rolling down the street. Aurelia and I went our separate ways. She went to hunt Vaults off Pandora and I went back to Pandora to try and stop any Hyperion that I could without being noticed." Athena responded, monotonous.

The stress and shock of almost dying earlier had faded from her features as she sat, comfortably, in the middle of the pavement with a slice of pizza in hand. Her stomach rumbled as she remembered that she hadn't eaten a full meal in days, possibly weeks if she counted.

"Whaaat? That can't be it! There's gotta be more!" Tina yelled in outrage, throwing her hands up in the air for emphasis.

Athena, annoyed, dropped her pizza in the box and looked at the young girl who sat next to Brick. The large, robust man struggled to keep his younger counterpart calm and still and sent a pleading look to Athena.

"Well, I could..." Athena began.

"What? What is it? Tell meeee!" Tina pleaded

"It began when Timothy and I went on a quest for Springs..."

* * *

><p>The warehouse was rusted with patches of, long-forgotten, frost on the roof and sides of the building. The windows were shattered, and the ones that weren't had webs of cracks and bullet holes in them. The roof and metal frame that held the building were rusted to the point where they were a dark brown. The sliding doors that signified that they were at the front entrance were barely hanging on by their hinges as they continuously swung back and forth in an uninterrupted pattern. Overall the building was just... disappointing.<p>

Athena, the skeptical that she was, looked over at the large-shoulder man who stood beside her. He looked up at the building with the same amount of disappointment, surprise, and confusion as he turned the map side-to-side and even upside-down as he tried to ponder if they had actually made it to the right place.

"So. This is it?" Athena said, breaking the silence.

"I... think so?"

"Are you... are you sure? This is just... a crumbling pile of metal... and disappointment."

"Check the map then," "Jack" said, shoving the map in her hands as started to slowly stroll towards the warehouse.

Looking down at the map, she found that Pseudo-Jack wasn't lying. This was the exact location of where Anthony was supposed to live. Springs' old black dealer buddy who had broken off contact with her a few months ago. Instead of going to check on him herself, Springs had decided to send the duo to check on him. A map had been given to them along with a piece of paper with his name on it. While the last name was blacked out with ink, what Athena could make out was the name Anthony. Assuming that was his name, Athena and Pseudo-Jack journeyed to the warehouse where he was situated only to find this disappointing pile of scrap that could barely pass as a building.

"Hey, Athena! I... I found s-something!"

Sighing, Athena jogged inside the building where Pseudo-Jack had entered, a few minutes, ago only to find the warehouse wasn't as vacant as she had originally thought. Inside were a peculiar amount of... oddities that were stacked on the shelves.

Sure, she'd seen burning corpses and people being eaten away by acid that they were forced to swallow. Athena had even seen an unlucky man's head slowly pushed into a fast moving Atlas-issued airplane propeller as his face was slowly chopped off with the sound of the blades drowning out his screams. She'd even seen a man being slowly chopped up from his appendages upwards. His fingers and toes were slowly chopped a few centimeters at a time until you couldn't hear the flowing blood and the sound of the muscle and bone being cut through by his screams.

However, those... heads inside the fish bowls. Those were just too much for her.

Though they were scav heads, bandit heads even, they were just a little too much to see. Their masks had been lifted up past the mouth so she could see the molded psychotic smiles and frozen cackles cemented on their dead lips. The skin had turned gray and blubbery from the exposure to the water they were dunked in. Their heads had been severed just a few inches above the collarbone in sloppy strikes that left pieces of flesh dangling. The heads themselves were stuck on a pike so that they appeared to be floating in the middle of the fish bowls.

Pseudo-Jack was just staring at them. His eyes were wide and a hand covered his mouth as gagging sounds came deep from his throat. Upon walking over, Athena found why he was gagging. It wasn't just because of how horrific and horrifying the sight was. The stench of decaying flesh was overwhelming and she had to cover her nose to stop herself from gagging. Taking Pseudo-Jack by the forearm, she forced him away from the fish bowls and into a different part of the warehouse.

* * *

><p>"Whaaaaat? There is no way that happened,"<p>

"It's true. And it was disgusting. The water had turned a murky, light green color and the stench was worse than leaving a pile of dead bodies out in the sun."

"Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew! Too much detail!"

* * *

><p>Upon reaching a good enough distance away, she released his arm and he fell to his knees making retching and swallowing sounds as he tried to stop himself from vomiting. Athena gave his back a few awkward pats and looked around at the new place in the warehouse they were at. Surprisingly, it was much less gross and disgusting than the previous section.<p>

If anything, it seemed to be much more child friendly as well. On some of the shelves, that were screwed into makeshift walls, were children's toys. There were a few torn apart bears, a plastic train with its wheels missing, and coloring books that were slightly moldy with some of the pages already sloppily colored in.

Finally ceasing to make retching noises, Pseudo-Jack stood up straight and looked around.

"W-What the hell is this place? What in the hell were those- those **things** back there? What kinda m-monster would do that?"

Athena shook her head and walked around the "exhibit". Her eyes inspected each and every toy with curiosity. Sometimes she would reach each to touch a torn bear or one of the coloring books only to quickly return it back as she felt eyes burn into the back of her neck. Looking around, she found no one, but Pseudo-Jack and her in the area they were in. They were alone in here. It only made her more nervous.

"W-What do we do? Anthony isn't here. We should just leave." Pseudo-Jack begged as he walked around with her, inspecting the children's toys.

"And go back the way we came? We should just find another way out of here."

Pseudo-Jack didn't say anything causing Athena to turn around to look at where he last was. Instead of expecting him to have disappeared, she found him leaning over a large, white wheel. Walking over to where he was, she found the wheel to be made of... toothbrushes?

"What is this?"

"What? Have you never seen a Ferris wheel before?"

She shook her head at his question and scanned her eyes quickly over it. Looking over the full figure of it, she noticed an old dirty, tattered top hat perched on the top of it. It seemed so out of place against the paleness of the Ferris wheel and reached up to get it. Standing on her toes, Athena grasped the edge of the top hat between two fingers and pulled it off the top of the wheel. Pseudo-Jack looked over her shoulder as she flipped the top hat upside-down and right side-up as she examined it.

"A top hat? Who do think owns it?"

"Why, that's my hat, my dear boy!"

Athena dropped the hat and jumped slightly at the sound of a voice directly behind her. Grasping the blade of Xiphos, she spun around only to see a large, lanky figure looming over her and Pseudo-Jack. He gracefully caught the falling hat and placed it on top of his head and looked at the two of them with his dark green eyes. He wore a torn tuxedo that was slightly burned at the white shirt underneath to show the burn scar that was across his chest. His dark gray hair, that was probably black before, had tufts sticking up in every direction. He smiled with crooked teeth that were slowly turning yellow and leaned down to them.

"Ah! Visitors! What a special treat!"

As if they weighed nothing, the tall man picked them both up and crushed them with a back-cracking hug. Upon dropping them he bowed down held out his hand.

"The Mad Hatter. At your service, friends."

Athena and Pseudo-Jack both looked at each other with quizzical expressions.

The Mad Hatter? No, they came here for Anthony.

Noticing their hesitance, "The Mad Hatter" sighed.

"Anthony. At your service."

"Wait, you're Anthony?" Pseudo-Jack asked as he looked at the man who was still bowed over with his hand out.

"I prefer the Mad Hatter. Has more a jingle to it than just "Anthony". Such a cheerless name for such a cheerful person, if I do say so myself. Ya get me?"

"Uh, yeah. We get you?"

Athena, finally deciding this to be the right time, stretched out her hand and shook his. His grip was firm and ecstatic as he shook her arm up and down with a smile on his face. Releasing her hand, he turned away and began to walk towards the back of the warehouse with his hands clasped behind him. As if remembering something, he spun around and looked them with the same smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Would you care to join me for tea and biscuits?"

Athena and Pseudo-Jack looked at each other. No words were spoken as they silently agreed with each other.

"We'd love to, Anthony." Athena responded.

Anthony's smile grew larger and he held his hand up signalling them to stop talking.

"Please. Call me "M.H." It's short for Mad Hatter."

* * *

><p>"Ooooh, so who's this Mad Hatter fella? Was he like Springs' big bro or somethin'? What were them heads about? Athena, you better tell me. I hate spoooilers!"<p>

Athena looked at the young girl who was rocking back and forth on her butt as she interrupted her story repeatedly.

"Just. Listen."

* * *

><p>The couch that the two of them settled on was much different from the rest of the building. Instead of being torn and partially destroyed as they had had expected, it was actually quite nice and comfortable. Sitting across from them was the Mad Ha- M.H. who poured a black liquid into three different tea cups before handing two of them to the duo. Looking suspiciously at the cups, they reluctantly took them. A small plate full of crumbled cookies sat in the middle of the wooden table as M.H. also offered them one as well.<p>

Upon taking one each, he proceeded to lean forward and look at them expectantly. Knowing that conversation wouldn't start until their food was eaten, Athena and Pseudo-Jack each took a bite of the cookie. Immediately, Pseudo-Jack covered his mouth as he tried to keep from spitting it back out whereas Athena just looked at the cookie and shrugged as she took another bite. With a sigh of happiness, M.H. leaned back in his chair and put his feet on the table.

"Now, what business do you have in my abode?"

"Springs sent us." Athena said, getting right to the point as she talked through a mouth of crumbs.

"Ah, Springs. Young girl with a lot of brightness in her. Miss her dearly. Should go visit her soon." M.H. reminisced with a smile.

"Excuse me, but... why do you call yourself the 'Mad Hatter'?" Pseudo-Jack asked as he dropped the cookie gingerly on the top with a loud _clunk!_

"Such a good question. You see, we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad-"

"Uh- I'm not mad. Or insane."

M.H. laughed as if the man sitting across him just said a hilarious joke before sitting up and placing his elbows on his knees as he leaned over towards them.

"You must be! Or you wouldn't have come here!"

Pseudo-Jack had an expression of shock as he looked down at his feet.

"Who... who are you?" Pseudo-Jack asked, thoroughly freaked out now as he looked at the Mad Hatter.

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle."

"No, _who_ are you? What are you? What were you?"

A grim expression crossed across the Mad Hatter's once happy expression. He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling as his eyes showed a tale. Happiness, excitement, horror, sadness, guilt, and now it returned to the mad, glazed expression as it used to be.

"If everybody minded their business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does." he whispered as he pulled the top hat off his head and into his lap.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Jimothy. You need to. Shut. Up." Athena warned through gritted teeth as she kept her eyes on the older, taller, and wiser man before her.

For once in the time that they had been here, he seemed to lose his charisma. His natural charm that seemed to lull people in had dulled down to the point where he couldn't even express it. His usual energetic appearance had slunk down into a more worn, years old one. It was as if he finally allowed the years to catch up with him as he seemed to age twenty or thirty years older in a split instant. He cleared his throat and looked down at his guests, trying to get his old charm and happiness back, but he was struggling.

"Curioser and curioser are we getting. What was it? Jimothy?"

"I- Yessir. Yes, I am."

The Mad Hatter forced out a laugh and continued to chuckle under his breath for a few seconds before letting his gaze wonder around the enclosure they were in.

"'Have I gone mad?' You two wonder. All I can say is,'I'm afraid so, but let me tell you something. The best people usually are.'"

Letting out a sigh, he leaned forward and gave them a deadpanned expression as he looked straight into their eyes.

"Can I... I inquire you with something?"

Athena and Pseudo-Jack both looked at each other. This man wanted to ask them something. With a nod of both their heads, they turned back to him.

"Shoot."

"Have you ever experienced loss?"

Athena raised an eyebrow at the question while Pseudo-Jack looked slightly surprised. His mouth hanged open slightly as he thought about what had just been asked to him.

"Yes." Athena answered for the both of them.

"What kind of loss?"

Athena cleared her throat and attempted to stay stone-faced. However, the facade broke as she gritted her teeth and clenched her hands into fists as she remembered everything that she had done to them.

"I lost my whole family."

"To?"

Athena swallowed with difficult as she turned her head away and looked down at her feet.

"Myself."

"I-I-I... I lost my identity." Pseudo-Jack stuttered after Athena had finished.

"To?"

"The man I pose as."

The Mad Hatter nodded at their answers before leaning back, once again, in his chair and putting his hands behind his head.

"I lost my son and daughter to the Crackenin'."

Before any of the two of them could speak up, he continued.

"Son was eight, daughter was nine. I remember it just like it was yesterday. Went out with them to see if we could spot some kraggons' near the warehouse before the ground opened up. We got separated on both sides. I thought I saw 'em plummet when the boulder they were standin' on crumbled into the risin' lava."

"Is that why you became mad?"

The Mad Hatter shook his head.

"No. We're all mad here. I just chose to give into it."

A few minutes passed as they all three sat in the silence. No one dared spoke a word as they considered each other's sayings. Finally, Athena stood up and turned to the Mad Hatter, holding out a hand.

"Thank you for your time. I'm sure Springs will be happy to know that you're still alive."

The Mad Hatter preceded to get up as well and took Athena's hand in his own. He shook it much gentler than the first time and smiled slightly.

"I'll be sure to visit 'er soon. Can't have her worryin' about this stick man all the time."

Pseudo-Jack got up next and shook the taller man's hand as well. They soon began to return the way they came with the Mad Hatter behind them-

* * *

><p>"-we returned to Springs soon after and she thanked us for our help. We never saw the Mad Hatter again. I suppose he's still alive somewhere."<p>

"Whaaat? That's total bull! There's no way any of that happened!"

"Tina, language!" Brick piped up from where he was lounging across the ground.

"Sorry, brudder."

"And stop calling me that."

"Well, Tina. I suppose it's up to you to decide whether it is or not. You asked for a story and I presented you one. It's your choice to know if it's true or not."

"That's too difficult!"

Tina preceded to lay on the ground muttering that same phrase over and over again. Athena shook her head with a slight smile approaching her lips.

"Choices aren't difficult, Tina. Only life is difficult."

**Author's Note: I'm not sure why, but I've been having a dark streak lately. I recently re-read _Alice in Wonderland_ by Lewis Carroll and the idea for this story struck me. Having another "I have to write this. This story is my calling" moment, I finally gave in. Yes, I did reference a lot of Carroll's original book in this story as well. Thank you for reading.**


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